polaroids-and-paperbacks98-deac asked:
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im just such a gdamn fool for cliche romance, man! I love that shit!!!!! Im in love with love !
these cask of amontillado memes have spread like the plague, i’m gonna throw a masquerade in my castle to get away from them, anyone wanna come?
the idea of coming home to the love of your life is so soothing and nice I can’t wait to look forward to that
a few years ago i picked up a cat from a parking lot thinking it was a stray pregnant female
so i took it to the animal shelter
turns out it was a fat boy and i had abducted someone’s outdoor cat
i can’t believe he didn’t tell me
this is the funniest shit i have ever heard…tag yourself im the fat outdoor boy
*having sex*
partner: how does that feel?
me [checking my mood ring]: uh… normal/cool

